3 Lessons I've learned in 2021

Samantha Candle
Nov 2, 2021
4 min read

As 2021 comes to an end, I have been all in the feels, reflecting on all the trials, tributes & pleasure I have felt this past year. Here are the 3 big lessons I have learned through it all.

Lesson 1: People are scary, but they are just people.

This past year, I have gotten myself into new social environments and taken on many new roles. Being the youngest and newest yoga instructor in my studio, I have interacted and led people much older than me. A new tutor for newcomer elementary and high school students, I adopted the role of a social support system and discipliner. And as COVID regulations subsided, I began to experience true "college life", going to classes in person.

Connecting with all these new people, I have at many times felt intimidated. Who knew that people could have the meanest faces when working out? Or that kids after school had no filter on sharing their boredom and disinterest in you? Yes, working with new people was intimidating, but I had to constantly remind myself that they are just people, with feelings and experiences like me.

I forced myself to understand that mean workout faces are just "concentrating" faces, and that non-talkative adults in the morning classes are just as tired and cranky as you. I've had to be patient in understanding that kids need to trust you first before liking you. As a newcomer student, where English is not your first language and Canadian culture is all too foreign, they are probably more terrified of you than uninterested. I've had to get over self-doubt that people don't like me, and understand that they are going through it themselves. So, I talked and I conversed with the studio members and these kids, persisting.

I was surprised at how much people reach out when you reach out first. How much these people have in common with me, how much of the same doubts we shared. I was pleasantly pleased at how much kids open up when you persist in reaching out, in asking them questions about their interests, hobbies, annoyances. I began to understand that all people desire is authenticity. By keeping it real with them, sharing your vulnerabilities, interests, and thoughts, other people recognize that, and show you their true self as well.

People are scary, but they are still people that need and love connection with others.

Lesson 2: Happiness depends on you, not your circumstances

At the start of this year, I was doing a full course load at school, working 3 times a week, and training every day for a military style obstacle course race in the summer. I was working myself crazy, waking up at 5 am everyday, working out 2 hours a day, reading 50 pages of school, then working in a kitchen for 6 hours until 10:00pm only to do it all again.

I couldn't wait till the summer, where I would only be doing 1 course, and have all the freedom in the world to do yoga and other fun things. I couldn't wait until I stopped overthinking and feeling anxiety for my to-do list and my exams. But the summer came, and I still felt just as stressed.

I learned (and am still learning) that no matter how busy your schedule and workload is, you do not have to wait until it decreases to take care of yourself. There is no better moment than right now to find time to slow your mind down, stop thinking, and just indulge in little pleasures, to find happiness at any point in time.

Whether doing seven courses or one course at university, working one or three jobs, finding pleasure in life is up to you. It is up to your ability to slow down, take a bath every two weeks, get a massage or sleep in every now and then. You don't have to wait until you are less busy to do something that makes you happy.

"Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." - Denis Waitley

Lesson 3: Forgive those that have hurt you

This past year, I, as many others have stayed home a lot due to COVID. We have spent a lot of time by ourselves, in turn forcing us to reflect. For a long time, I have held on to resentment towards those that have hurt me, left me, made me feel devalued, or simply misunderstood me and my values. Holding on to feelings of resentment does not benefit anyone, especially if the people you resent are still in your life. You feel shitty, and you treat the other person shitty.

Coming to terms with forgiveness for these people was not easy, especially since I have had to confront the wrongs that I have done in the past towards them, showing me that forgiveness was not just a one-sided thing.

It was a long and messy process lasting almost the whole year, and many emotions came up for me. Anger, lashing out, sadness, regret, and nostalgia of our past together. But forgiveness is the only way to move on and grow together.

Once I forgave these people, I was able to treat them better. I was able to value their presence in my life. I realized that because I just held on to all the wrongs of these people, it blocked me from seeing all the strengths, great qualities, and good of these people. By forgiving them, I am able to look at them in a different light. I look at them through lens of value they bring to my life, and gratitude for them. In turn, we can all move forward together, with love for each other.